I'm getting more and more disappointed in people.

I can't put my finger on why. I don't think I expect too much. I expect as much as a normal individual would from anyone. Respect, loyalty, honesty and sincerity. These things can age with time. They might disappear. They might falter. But for the people I've stayed close to, they've remained intact, pure and clear, to the innermost part of their soul.

It's an awful affair when you discover a person that seemed to carry these qualities, age and fall. Her smile becomes cold, her eyes don't show any sign of care, her attire is distasteful but most importantly, she becomes internally ugly. Then you begin to wonder "was she always like this?".

You little fool, of course she was.

(I can't believe I gave you 2 years of my life. It wasn't worth it, not one bit.)

Feel closed tightly in a bud
Hard to crawl out, taste the sunshine
On my wings, worn and rusted
Feel the tears, frozen and encrusted
With time
They dolt me frequently
“you’ll grow to see the world, shut your soul now and behold”
But still, I don’t want to take mistakes
String them in a necklace
Wear them proudly
As an accessory......
A tattoo to branded on my sleeve.

Hold my head to the stars
I’d drink their light until, I feel warm, until I feel warm.
I can’t weave this fabric of society into my skin.
I’ll hold on to these dreams until I, until I win.

Wrote these when I should've been studying, things come to me at the most inopportune of times. I've love to write a melody to this.

Stop, hold, don't let it go
Overload, with lies unseen
You're stretching it mighty fine

When you, say, you love her
Don't hesistate, when you never had her heart
So why did you even start?

Your soul so cold
It can melt a sunny saturday afternoon
To pry her from your fingertips
Is what I hope will happen soon

Staring from the sidelines
Mouthing endlessly, the same line
Ohhh, "Don't waste her time"
(Don't waste her time)

Currently working on this song. It has a catchy beginning but nothing extravagant for the chorus line at the moment. Lyrics pretty much speak for itself. Bout a friend, can't say anymore.

Fee

Someone love me inside out
Every flaw contained in my soul
Someone love me outside in
And everything inbetween
All that makes me whole

The melody came to me as I was walking near the ABC building near UTS. In a moment of panic I blindly searched for my phone in my bag to record it. Sitting on a bench with the sun in my eyes, I sang.

The wind must have carried my heart tune to the man smoking 4 feet away. He tapped his cigarette with a flick of a finger and observed me curiously.

For a spilt moment I became transparent, woven into a few phrases of song.

Loneliness is like a drug.

It makes you crazy with the desire to not be alone. You start your daily hallucinations with hope. Every small smile, every glance from a passer-by feels like a sparkling dinner invitation and you accept with a nod of your head and feel that the bounce in your step becomes lighter.

You’re in a crowd but yet you feel at the edges of the universe, detached and distant from the laughter and warmth that is happening only inches from your face.
People is not the answer. Because I feel that everyone belongs in some kind of world that makes sense to them.

Mine consists of fragile butterflies and doves, flying to the sounds of broken French and violin music.

The collision of two worlds happen rarely. But when it does, it commences with friction and conflict. Then slowly, their outsides peel away to reveal a core that has never been exposed or felt the caresses of the wind. On that full moon, I’ll let someone in.

But until then.

I'm going back to the stratosphere.